This is my favorite image.
You might think that this image isn’t funny, and that’s fine. I cannot emphasize how much we fucking won’t get along, but that’s okay.
This image is my gospel. This monkey in a smoking jacket is my God. The first time I saw this image, I laughed so hard that I almost threw up. I’m not being hyperbolic. I want to print and frame this image to put up on my mantle.
Let’s dissect this photo, shall we? We see a monkey, more specifically a chimpanzee behind some glasses of wine, a few bowls, assorted foods and beverages, and then, of course, the bananas. The monkey is in a smoking jacket. He’s a fancy little guy. A bon vivant, even. I, for some reason, feel inclined to call this monkey a slut? I don’t really know why; it’s not like I want this monkey to be ashamed. In fact, I want this monkey to feel empowered. I also have thought absolutely nothing about this monkey’s sex life. I don’t know. I guess, to a true connoisseur of this image, it just feels right.
Let’s pivot to the words. One sentence. Maybe two depending on your use of punctuation.
“TRY THE BANANAS DARLING THEY’RE DASHING”
Jesus Christ, that’s great. That’s gorgeous. To me, that’s amazing.
Personally, I have never heard the word dashing used to describe anything other than people. Traditionally it means attractive or fashionable. Is that what these bananas are to you, you silly little guy?
Speaking of, how can I be sure that this monkey is the one saying this? What if I am saying this to the monkey? Now there’s a powerful thought.
Thank you for reading. I do not want feedback, and I do not care what your favorite image is; mine is better.